You Can't Sit With Us!!!

What To Do When Your Friends Turn On You

So I have been thinking about this one for a while, guys. 

Here’s the backstory...

I rededicated my life to Christ last September. (Yayyyyy!!!) I was absolutely thrilled that I was starting on this journey with God, for real this time. So I told my friend about what happened to me. I told her how I had rededicated my life to God. I told her how, maybe, all this time, we have been doing it all wrong. Maybe, God never wanted us to party Thursday, Friday, and Saturday... then go to Chapel and hope to get a word from whomever was speaking that Sunday. 

Maybe, just maybe, God had called us to be “set apart” and holy for him, which, in my case, meant no more twerking at parties #teamnotwerk. Maybe our beliefs needed to show in our lifestyle?

My eyes filled with utter excitement as I told one of my best friends all of the things that I had heard and realized from talking to the person who helped me rededicate. You guys know me, I was hand-motioning and walking around, all excited. Then I added the last part, “I really feel like this is what God wants me to do right now...I really think that this is what God wants us both to do.” I finally looked at my friend, who had kind of this look of confusion, mixed with fear. I sat down, confused, because surely she understood what I had said. It was all there, the facts, the reasons, the feeling, the truth! After a long, heavy pause, she just looked at me and said, “I really don’t think I am ready right now. It’s my senior year, and I really want to have fun.”

Dang. That’s what my mind said. That’s all that I could think. It not only felt like she had rejected Jesus, but it felt like she had rejected me too. (I know this wasn’t true, but it FELT like it at the time) 

A lot of us have recently rededicated our lives in the past year, month, two weeks, maybe even week. What happened when you told your friends about the decision you  made? Or did you even tell your friends?

My experience that I just recounted for you guys is not abnormal. It is actually completely normal for us to experience some confusion on account of our friends after we come to Christ fully. I know you guys remember the post from a couple months ago about friends and how your friends should be pushing you toward Christ, and if they aren’t... Are they your friends? 

But how do you proceed if your friends don’t want to come with you when you come to Christ? How do you deal with that situation?

So I quickly learned that most of my friends that I told about my transformation had the same response that my first friend had, albeit a little less pronounced. And slowly, they all began to stop texting me, calling me, hanging out with me. 

This kind of thing wasn’t because I was like “Ooooh girl, I’m Christian now, and you ain’t, so bye!” I didn’t say anything like that! I literally said that I just wasn’t into partying and drinking anymore, however, I would be happy to hang out with them doing other stuff. 

But of course, it was like I was being invited to less and less stuff. I was thinking in my mind, “Did we just party all the time?? Are they just partying? Dang my life was wild!” 

I was talking to one of my Christian brothers about it and he revealed something to me. He explained to me why this would happen. The Bible literally says 

Galatians 5:17 NIV

For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 

Wait Lise, what does this have to do with ANYTHING??? Ok... So when you rededicated your life to Christ, you opened yourself up to be filled with... The Third Part of the Trinity, The Power behind All of the Stuff God does, The Gentleman, The Coolest Spirit EVER (Forget Casper)....Drum Roll Please, HOLY SPIRIT!!!  Now Holy Spirit is the reason that you can do ANYTHING that is pleasing to God, and he now inhabits you to help you, to comfort you, to give you gifts, etc. Holy Spirit is THE MAN!! (or the spirit) 

Anyways, if Holy Spirit is within those who believe in Christ... what is in the other people? Well, we like to call that guy flesh. Man without holy spirit is not even man, he is a big hunk of flesh. 

Here, read this to understand this guy flesh:

Galatians 5:19-21 KJV

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 

Ouch. Dang flesh. Ok so those of us that are filled with Holy Spirit still have some flesh, we are still human of course! Just because we have Holy Spirit doesn’t mean we are absolutely perfect. That’s why the Bible tells us to be constantly filled with Holy Spirit that we may walk according to the Spirit (Romans 8:13). 

Anywayssss so what I get is the works of the flesh is basically doing whatever it is that we FEEL like doing, whatever FEELS good... whether or not it is contrary to God. Think of the people who talk about humans as if we are animals...You know, the whole, “Since monkeys have a zillion mates in their lifetime, maybe humans should too”... Blah blah. The ONLY thing that is keeping us from being animals is if we have Holy Spirit. Animals were not “breathed into” when they were created. Humans are the only ones who can have the Spirit of God!! (If you missed it, God’s breath... is Holy Spirit... Look it up and read about it!) So... without the Spirit of God... we are literally like animals. Just created forms, missing something... forever missing something. 

So WE are blessed beyond measure to have God himself living inside of us!! Chilling with us, eating popcorn with us, going to church with us, reading the Bible with us (super helpful by the way, Yayyy Holy Spirit!!).... All that!! I will talk about the stipulations of that in another post... But since we understand now that we have God inside of us... Lets look at this verse.

Romans 8:7

For the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 

Sheesh. So if your friends... or your old friends, who aren’t in Christ have been found to be hostile to you for no reason... it isn’t necessarily YOU they are hostile to. They are hostile to the God inside of you. It is so crazy, because THEY DON’T EVEN REALIZE IT!! 

Those of you who have been blessed with the spiritual gift of discernment may even be able to see something that is “off” with them now. You can even see it!! (And for those of you who have seen it, and didn’t know what it was, you probably have that lovely spiritual gift. That’s for another blog post though!)

I just want to encourage you!! Do not leave God just because your friends are looking at you all strange for wanting to go to BRiO, wanting to go to Bible study, Church or whatever your deal is. Remember, your REAL friends will rejoice in your newfound happiness and be with you as you make the most important decision EVER!! 

Just because some of them don’t rejoice right away, don’t write them off. They are still God’s children, whether they know it or not. 

Remember that you made this decision for yourself, not for them. God will be asking YOU on judgement day what’s up... Not you and your friends. He called each of us FOR A REASON. Maybe it is so that later, you will get to bring all of your friends to Christ... You never know. 

If your friends are acting funny now that you love Jesus:

1. LOVE THEM!! LOVE THEM LIKE CRAZY!! Don’t turn hostile towards them!! You can’t possibly judge them! You know that you were just like them, like 2 seconds ago!! So, love them, knowing that Love is what brought you to where you are now. 
2. Don’t just dump them. Hang out with them when you can, but don’t compromise. Keep your standards firm! If God told you that clubbing is out the window, don’t go clubbing!! God himself might come in there and drag you back out. I know, the last thing you want is that whole... “Jesus hung out with sinners talk.” Yes. Jesus hung out with sinners, but I don’t remember Jesus being in the strip club... Stay in places you can allow your light to shine without it being overpowered by the darkness. (If you feel like you can’t hang out with your friends until you are strong enough to resist what they are doing... Praise God, do as God leads) 
3. If you feel them drifting away, don’t panic. What is that saying again? If you love someone, let them go, and if it was meant to be, they’ll come back? Yeah... I don’t know about that either, but in this case... Don’t chase them down. I guarantee, when they have questions about God, they will come straight to you!! (I didn’t believe this when my brother first told me this, but it’s true!!)
4. Draw close to your brothers and sisters in Christ!! Fellowship!! This is one of the best things about Christianity!! You and your fellowship are supposed to be super close, not clique-y, but close. Imagine, you and your fellowship are all cool and whatnot... So you can invite your friend (who isn’t a Christian) to come “hang out” and you are hanging out with a bunch of Christians who are friendly and fun... and before they know it, they are always hanging out with this group of Christians... and they want what we have! Awesome! It happens all the time. 
5. Here is the biggest one... DON’T BEAT THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH THE BIBLE!!! Don’t do it!! It is tempting! Don’t do it!  Yeah, they might still be in their sin, yeah it bothers you, yeah God don’t like ugly... However, they will come to Christ when God brings them, trust God to do it in his timing. He knows what he is doing.

So lets continue to pray for our friends who aren’t in Christ. I know that this doesn’t apply to some of us, who have been friends with Christians all our lives... Ahem, Elizabeth and Gaylen and Yolanda. I am joking. I love your friendship with each other, you are blessed!!

Keep your heads up!! And I am so proud of the decisions that you guys are making. Truly inspiring me!! :)

I love you guys like I love Chocolate Cake. 

Lise, A4C

Hey! I want to see ALL OF YOU at BRiO!! Wednesday at 6:30 in the Chapel. Come to talk and fellowship! :)

P.S. Hey Guys, Lets get close to one another!! Get with someone and ask them to keep you on track with your quiet time or ask a brother or sister to pray with you! We are ALL on the same team so lets keep one another on track and encouraged!

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